In the past year I’ve slowly come to recognize and admit that I’m, by most definitions, a functioning alcoholic. The trouble is, I want to do more than “function” (and how long, really, until the functional modifier is worn away? I’d rather not find out). I’ve made countless attempts to quit drinking, but haven’t managed more than 2 or 3 weeks under my belt before I found myself once again in a pattern of drinking without restraint… then feeling terrible… then realizing that I can’t drink normally… then vowing to quit again…. then drinking again… ad infinitum.
So, clearly, what I’ve been doing has not been working. It’s time for something different.
This blog is my attempt to not only hold myself accountable, but also externalize all these thoughts swimming around in my head. When I start to falter, I have a feeling it will be useful to use this space (and the log of my journey so far) to reorient me and place me back on the right path. It seems to be an effective tool to others in the sobersphere, so I’m going to give it a shot.
After spending so many years “in my cups“, I’m going to attempt to crawl out and stop letting alcohol hold my life hostage.